Fork, or How To Stab A Potato
by EmaniaHilel
Summary: [OneShot] “It must be Thursday,” he muttered. “I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”


**Note:** This story is being posted on both Jurodan's fanfiction account and Emania's fanfiction account. This is not plagiarism, this is intended. Both Jurodan and Emania took part in completing it. Please do not report this for plagiarism or double posting or anything like that. Okay?

_**Fork or, How To Stab A Potato  
**__**By Emania & Jurodan**_

"_This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."  
_- Arthur, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Even from the end of the hallway, he could hear it; a rhythmic thump-thump-thump… something sharp slamming into something that wasn't. Cyborg paused, blinking. It was late-who else would be up at this time?

It was coming from the operations room, he could make that much out at least, but nothing much else. Scanning the hallways for intruders he began a slow approach, arm ready to reconfigure into his sonic canon at a second's notice.

He approached, back to the wall to avoid being seen and more sounds reached his keen hearing… "hya"s and "umph"s and "damn it all to…" He stopped outside the door, and it finally hit him.

He knew that voice! It was Raven!

Was she in danger? Was a fight taking place? If someone had gotten inside, they would have set off the alarm, or at the very least, she would have done so as soon as she found an intruder. Cyborg paused; she had never been the kind of call out for help or scream. Knowing her, she would be trying to fight off whatever threat had attacked her but she certainly would've sounded an alarm if some enemy had gotten into the Tower.

The sudden sound of metal clattering onto the floor made Cyborg pull away for a second, causing him to miss whatever she had mumbled afterward. There was a frustrated sigh and then finally something Cyborg could make out: "Will you just stay still?" Raven demanded hotly, and then the sounds of a scuffle resumed, with brief interruptions for muted grunts of accomplishments and that same thump-thump-thump echoed into the hall.

Cyborg frowned, looking at the door. It almost sounded as if she was attacking someone, not the other way around…

Wait… his mouth fell open slightly. That fight earlier today, he hadn't been paying attention… Had she gone four eyed again without them noticing? He tensed up; what… what if she had lost control like the last time? What if she was attacking someone?

"I don't think so," He heard her mumble a little out of breath; "You're not getting away that easily."

Cyborg's eyes went wide, what would he do if she had lost it?

"You stupidly shaped… vegetable… eat… stop squirming!" she demanded.

'Vegetable… eat…' He thought to himself, 'stop squirming…' He swallowed the growing lump in his throat, vegetables don't squirm… but… someone who eats vegetables would… had he misheard her? Was she talking to Beast Boy? Cyborg winced, what if Beast Boy had snapped her last nerve? He had been pulling pranks a lot recently, what if she just lost it on him?

"I _am_ going to poke holes in you and then I _am_ going to cook you and I _will_ eat you," she said, the determination dripping from her voice. "So you might as well stop struggling…" Her voice was almost casual and cajoling.

Cyborg's mouth simply dropped open. She was going to cook and eat Beast Boy? There was no way? She wouldn't! She couldn't! There was no way she would do that to Beast Boy… but… if she had lost it… what if she had? But wouldn't Beast Boy be shouting? She couldn't be… he would be calling out for help… unless… unless she had covered his mouth…

The thought that the cruel and demented part of her, that part that was so completely incongruent with the person who had helped him rebuild his baby and had gone so far out of her way to let him know that Sarasim had won that battle, might have taken control of her… his stomach turned. A part of him had known that this moment (well, maybe not quite THIS moment, but some moment like it) had always been a possibility, ever since he had been sucked into her mind…ever since he had seen her father…but he couldn't…not Raven…not now…not to one of their own…

And yet, there was no doubt that she was the instigator and she was the one threatening. He knew the tone she used when she issued idle threats…the one he was hearing wasn't it. She almost sounded…hungry. If her rage had taken over… he… he had to take her down. He should call for backup, for Robin, for Starfire, but he couldn't. He owed it to her to be the one to do this himself. He also knew that, ultimately, she would want him to do it.

Confronting her and stopping her _was_ the right thing. He knew that, too.

His heart was breaking. She was like a sister to him; a brooding, moody sister who spent far too much time in her room, but still, a sister. He couldn't help but wish he hadn't found her, and he felt a gnawing sensation at the bottom of his stomach that told him he should just turn around and leave, ignoring everything he had heard and pretending none of this had ever happened.

Some part of his mind kept repeating that there must be some other reason. He might be jumping to conclusions, that this was all in his head. Raven had proven time and time again that she was capable of withholding the demon inside of her. Even if she _was_ doing something to Beast Boy maybe it wasn't as bad as he was imagining it to be…

Cyborg let out a deep breath, standing up straighter, squaring his shoulders and slowly forcing himself to open the door. He barely managed to swallow the sound of disbelief at the site of her face, twisted in anger, as she repeatedly raised a fork and stabbed it downward. He could even see a bit of green poking up over the kitchen counter top.

'Ah man… BB…' He thought. If only she had seemed possessed or particularly angry or acting as if she were fighting it – but she seemed almost pleased as she worked, as if she were expecting a juicy reward. He resisted the urge to forget what he was watching – he knew he had to stop her now… no matter what he had to do.

'Raven… why couldn't you have fought it?' was the only thing he could think as he slowly entered the operations room, his heart weighing heavily in his chest. Every memory: her sitting down next to him explaining how her powers worked and how it was like his relationship with his baby, her getting that smudge of grease on her face as they worked on his car together, her giving him one of her books, their games of chess… but he couldn't let her get away with this. She could go after the rest of the team, the rest of the city if he didn't stop her now. He could let his guilt kill off another piece of him after he had…

He couldn't bring himself to finish that thought; hating every moment about knowing this was the right thing to do. And he realized that he would happily give it all up and let her be if it weren't for his fear that innocent people would suffer.

Slowly he raised his arm, it probably would stun her first… maybe he would be able to talk some sense into her if he stunned her… he took a deep breath before walking into her sight.

"Raven!" he exclaimed his voice trembling with anticipation, fear, and anger.

Raven jumped a few inches and looked at him in complete surprise for a few seconds before casting him a dark look, "Do _not_ sneak up on me like that," she commanded with more feeling than she might have if he hadn't surprised her so badly.

"What… are you doing?" He managed to control his voice, but was unable to make it sound normal. Hopefully she wouldn't be able to tell that he was being torn in two.

She blinked at him in confusion and he had a moment to wonder if maybe she hadn't been possessed. She certainly looked as if she had no idea why he was speaking to her in such a manner.

She looked down at the counter, where the slight green fleck was visible. "Well…" she looked back up at him, clearly having caught the cold tone in his voice and finally noting he hadn't lowered his arm. She looked positively confused as to why he looked as if he was about to attack her. "What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" she asked.

Before he could answer she started to move her hands toward the counter.

Cyborg tensed, his arm rose slightly, but remained untransformed. Raven simply raised an eyebrow as she picked up a fork with a brown kidney shaped object stuck to it.

Cyborg's jaw dropped almost as quickly as his arm, "A potato?" He managed to say in a somewhat shocked voice.

"Was I not supposed to eat this potato?" she asked her voice calm and collected.

He blinked at her, then her hand which held the fork as if it were some strange implement. When his eyes met hers she was looking at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"Was this _your_ potato?" she asked in the calm voice you offered a lunatic on the edge.

"You were stabbing a potato?" he finally managed.

She nodded slowly. "It's what you do to prep it before you microwave it," she said slowly as if she were speaking to a child…a crazy child.

"And you were cursing at it, why?" he asked, the tether of his emotions very near to breaking.

She blinked, slowly, "It was slippery after I washed it." she answered simply, blushing a little. "It kept rolling off the counter." She narrowed her eyes at him in an attempt to read the emotions crossing his face.

"But… but what's that green stuff on the counter?" Cyborg stammered, pointing to the green fleck.

Raven reached down and pulled up a piece of lettuce, "This? I think Beast Boy left this when he made his salad."

Cyborg knew she must have been wondering if _he_ had snapped, but the only thing he could feel was an overwhelming sense of pure relief. He was also aware, in some remote part of his logical mind that he didn't help her perception of his sanity any when he finally realized how he had overacted and laughed: loud and hard.

She listened quietly for a few moments, her face registering surprise and confusion and, although he wanted to explain, he was laughing too hard and couldn't gather enough air.

He wiped a tear away from his eye, barely able to speak as he continued to laugh, "So…" he gasped, "you were stabbing…" he took a deep breath, "a potato?"

"Yes," she replied calmly.

Cyborg finally resorted to switching off his laughter sensor as the only way he could think of to stop himself from laughing before he damaged a system. Shaking his head and smiling, he approached her, "Raven, you really are a bad cook." She rose both her brows at that one and seemed to be deciding whether to argue or not when he reached over and grabbed the potato with the fork still sticking out of it like a deranged parody of itself. "Here, let me show you how to stab a potato."

With a plop, he pulled the fork out of the swiss cheesed potato and grabbed a fresh one, washing it off and placing it on the table, "Ok Raven, here, you take the potato with one hand, and you stab the other end with your other hand."

Raven watched with all the serious intent she gave him anytime he taught her something and after he offered the potato to her so that she could finish the job, she took the tools and executed it flawlessly.

"See?" Cyborg asked, smiling proudly. "Isn't that much easier?"

Raven nodded, "Easier than stabbing Beast Boy, at least," she replied without looking at him.

"Easier than stabbing…" He began to agree, but stopped himself as her words filtered through. He turned and stared at her stunned, only to catch her with the slightest hints of a smile.

"I'm not a cannibal, you know," she said, her lips slowly growing into a smile.

"I… you… that is…" He stammered, trying and failing to keep some sense of composure, "how?"

"Empath… remember?" she said conversationally, shaking her head and looking back to the potato, "So, _now_ we nuke it?" she asked casually.

Eventually, he realized he was staring and shook his head reaching over for a paper towel and moistening it under the tap for the next step. "It must be Thursday," he muttered. "I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

_x-x_

**Disclaimer:** We don't own the characters. We don't claim to own the characters, but I say (Em here) that they have more fun with us anyway, so if the people who do own them don't get their heads outta their butts the Teen Titans might decide to come and live with the likes of us instead.

**Em's A/N:** Okay, you guys owe the posting of this to Jurodan. As I'm sure you've read by now through the A/N he wrote, this one-shot was a total mess. It was originally going to be part of the _Moments_ Vignettes and when I wrote it was Robin instead of Cyborg. The problem was, it was too tooo silly for Robin. So, when I gave it to Jurodan to beta, I was shamed into putting it in the backburner probably never to have it rise again. Jurodan did suggest that I could change Robin with Cyborg and that it would probably work much better, but after I write something like this, a major overhaul like what I envisioned the fic would need was too much like re-writing the whole thing and I got lazy and didn't want to do it. SOOO…as a gift for my birthday, Jurodan did it for me. Yey, Jurodan! Cause now I like it and I think it worked pretty good. Still kinda silly, but I think it's actually kinda cute now.  
Anyway, for all that work, Jurodan gets co-authorship credit and I told him he should post it on his account too, so if you watch us both, you'll get notified of it in both accounts and that's my explanation as to why.  
Oh, and one final thing: Remember my Em's Scraps journal on livejournal? I keep updating that every so often and not necessarily only when I post something, so if you want to 'friend' me on there you can get some snippets of insights into my writing. Just a thought. And it appears that for most of my works in progress I actually reply to comments with more of the story and stuff…just ask Pandora! (I've been discussing my Callum story with her…) Anyway, Nina (who shares an account on dA with Jurodan) gave me a giftpic of Raven during _Instinct._ So, if y'all want to see it, go there to their dA account at: http / www . deviantart . com / deviation / 25464420 / (remove the spaces)

**Jurodan's A/N:** … ya, what she said. Joking. Anyway, I'm glad Em enjoyed her birthday present, especially since I rewrote it in 2 days and cut nearly a page (and, irony of ironies, I didn't get a chance to edit, so I sent it to her with errors! Me, her beta!) smiles As she said, she wrote this and I beta read it, and… um… it wasn't quite up to par compared to her normal work, but was still decent. Essentially this is the same story, but with Cyborg instead of Robin, so you may be able to see where I thought things went wrong (can you really imagine Robin standing out there that long without rushing in? Didn't think so). It was fairly simple to switch out Robin and replace him with Cyborg, alter a few scenes, added a few others (the lettuce was my idea smile) and boom, you have my gift to Em. I hope you all enjoyed!


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